https://www.bonappetit.com/entertaining-style/holidays/article/thanksgiving-etiquette-guide
➤ The highest form of conversation is when, for a time, the entire table discusses one topic. Hostsshould gently encourage and orchestrate general conversation; guests should participate, resisting the urge just to turn and gossip with their neighbor.
➤ If you notice someone stranded outside the conversation, invite him into your circle: “We were just talking about...”
➤ If you’re sat next to a conversational void, try one of the following gambits:
How has the last year been for you?
How did you celebrate Thanksgiving when you were a child?
➤ Argument is not conversation, and rudeness is never wit. Keep jokes short and stories shorter. Listen and laugh.
➤ Let kids be kids. It’s a long day—give them space to watch a movie or play outside.
➤ If you have time and energy, get kids to help prepare a simple dish. This will acclimate them to cooking and bestow a sense of pride when “their” dish is served.
➤ Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to intermix the generations—especially if grandparents live far from their offspring.
➤ Thanksgiving deserves a little pomp and ceremony. Hosts should prepare something to say at the start of the meal: grace for the religious, a toast for the secular. This moment of reflectionallows those of all faiths, and none, to express their thanks for the food, family, and friends before them.
➤ If you’re not a confident speaker, your toast need only be brief and heartfelt.
➤ Separate toasts should be raised to the hosts, cooks, and absent friends.
➤ After the toasts, guests may be asked to share what they are especially thankful for. This is a charming way to learn something significant about everyone present.
1. RSVP. Let your host know right away if you can come or not. If you received a “family” invitation, let your host or hostess know how many of you can come.
2. Offer to contribute to the meal — but don’t dictate the menu. Your best bet is to make your offer open-ended and follow your host’s direction. If you or your “party” have special dietary needs, it’s very gracious to offer to bring a dish that meets those needs. “Jen is a vegetarian — I’d love to bring a dish for her if that’s okay with you.”
3. Dress appropriately. At the very least, make sure your clothes are clean and pressed. As a true sign of consideration, dress one notch up. Your hosts are probably going all out, and your attire can either say, “I appreciate the effort you are making for all of us,” or “I thought you were ordering takeout.”
4. Arrive on time. Yes, it is a day of feasting, but that turkey is going to be done at some point and your hosts are trying to plan around that magic moment. If you arrive late, don’t expect anyone to wait for you.
5. Don’t show up with uninvited guests. There is usually room for one more at Thanksgiving, but this is something you must discuss with your host ahead of time.
How to say Thanksgiving grace: Expert advice on finding the words to give thanks
6. Never have more than one cocktail before dinner. There’s absolutely no excuse for being tipsy — or drunk — during dinner.
7. Wait for the eldest adult to take their seat at the table first.
8. After being seated, simply unfold your napkin discreetly under the table and place it in your lap. Do not open your napkin by shaking it, and never tuck your napkin into your shirt.
9. Sit up straight — avoid slouching, leaning or putting your elbows on the table.
10. Put your cell phone away at the dinner table. You can check texts and Facebook and scores after the meal.
11. Wait. Do not begin the meal until everyone at the table has been served theirs, and until the host or hostess has taken his or her their first bite.
12. The cutlery that is furthest from the center of your plate is the cutlery you use first. For instance, if your meal begins with soup or salad, the soup spoon or salad fork will be furthest to the right or left of the plate. Following this, you work your way towards the center. The dessert fork and spoon are generally found above the plate or served with dessert.
13. Never blow on your food — just wait until it cools. Also shake your salt and pepper on to your food, and never into the palm of your hand.
14. Pass food to the right, and always pass the salt and pepper together. (They should stay on the table together throughout the meal.)
15. Hold your glass properly. Tumbler glasses are held near the bottom, stem glasses are held by the stem, and a goblet is held by the bottom of the bowl.
16. Avoid discussing controversial or painful family subjects. This is a day to be together in a spirit of generosity and thankfulness for all you do have. Let it be so. Likewise, do not talk about your health — good or bad.
17. Stay at the table. When you have finished your meal, don’t push your plate or chair away from the table. Be patient.
18. Offer to help with the clean-up. Family or non-family, this is one day where it is a great idea to pitch in.
19. Don’t overstay your welcome. Pay attention to cues and hints about when it’s time to leave (but never depart without offering to help, and without thanking your host and/or hostess).
20. Say thank you. A phone call or, better yet, a handwritten note of thanks to your hosts shows your appreciation for all their hard work.
“Showing grace is just as important as saying grace at your Thanksgiving meal,” says Deborah Ritch. “Knowing the proper mealtime etiquette makes the right impression on family and friends at your traditional gathering. Good manners are also expected of children and young adults. Give them a few lessons in the days and weeks leading up to the gathering. Correcting them at the table is too little too late, and will only disturb the other guests.”
https://www.marthastewart.com/1523159/thanksgiving-etiquette-for-hosts-guests
Make Your Guests Feel Comfortable
Dining with your immediate family members is comfortable, but Thanksgiving dinner is often about coming together with those in your larger community. "If you're throwing a true dinner party, you'll invite many different kinds of people and try to include new members in your party that your family and other friends may not know—that's the beauty of a dinner party, after all. It's an opportunity to meet new people and have more fun," Fitzpatrick says. While it's important to let your family know in advance who you'll be extending an invitation to, don't feel that you have to keep it just to family for Thanksgiving—they should be gracious and help you welcome anyone to your home.
https://www.cookinglight.com/entertaining/holidays-occasions/thanksgiving-host-guest-etiquette
Chill Out
The most important role of a good host is to make the guests comfortable. If you're uptight and stressed, guests feel it. If you want to be relaxed, you need to plan your Thanksgiving menu ahead of time. Don't hesitate to delegate tasks — have someone chop onions while you mash potatoes — and don't forget a great Thanksgiving playlist to dance along to!
Be a Polite Guest
We all need to sing for our supper. A good guest makes hosts glad they invited you. Arrive on time, with a gift, and make pleasant, interesting conversation with other guests. Stuck on what to get your host? It doesn't have to be anything expensive or elaborate, and we put together a host gift guide to help you find the perfect token of appreciation.
Keep Special Requests in Mind
A good host will accommodate guests' food needs within reason: There's a difference between an allergy and watching calories. A guest with a self-imposed restriction should bring a dish of their own, with enough to share. However, if you're working around special diets or food restrictions, we have dairy-free Thanksgiving recipes, gluten-free Thanksgiving recipes, vegetarian Thanksgiving recipes, vegan Thanksgiving recipes, diabetic Thanksgiving recipes, and even more delicious meal ideas to help you navigate.
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/holidays/thanksgiving.html
Traditional Thanksgiving gatherings with family and friends are fun…
